There’s a common misconception in society that the dating scenes becomes non-existent when you reach the age of 50.
But why does this somewhat taboo subject exist?
There are many seniors out there playing the dating game and there are countless services and websites helping you find whatever you are looking for.
While we’re not too sure why this misconception exists, perhaps due to tradition or openness between generations, we do know everything there is to know about how to get into the dating game once again to start meeting new people, find friends and perhaps even fall in love again.
Don’t worry, for those who have been married in the past or perhaps just never got around to finding that special someone; we understand this can be an intimidating idea.
What are you supposed to say?
What are you supposed to wear or do?
These or the millions of other questions that have been flying through your mind…
Relax. We’ve got all the answers covered, as well as all the resources, sites and tips to you need to get back on your feet and back into the wonderful world of companionship.
We’ll start by easing your mind and saying that it’s not as daunting or as scary as it may first appear.
So, when you’re thinking of making a confident entrance back into the dating scene, here’s everything you need to ensure that it’s the most empowered entrance possible.
Nothing is Different in the Dating Scene
While your last date could have been decades ago, you’ll be happy, and perhaps even pleasantly surprised to hear, that nothing has really changed when it comes to dating.
Sure, there are new services, apps, and meetups that exist, but at the core of everything:
The principles remain the same.
First, let’s ask ourselves what dating really is.
Well, you meet up with somebody in person, you ask questions about each other, you chat about topical, perhaps even personal subjects and you enjoy fun activities in each other’s company. Maybe you even share similar hobbies like crafting or dancing. That’s really all there is to it!
What you’re doing is investing time in each other and learning what they are really all about. If you and the person you’re dating both like each other, then you might start a relationship. This means you’re connecting on an interlingual, emotional and even a spiritual level.
Of course, there are a lot more points below that we’ll discuss, but always remember that this is what dating is, not some scary concept that you want to hide from!
Everything is Different in the Dating Scene
While the core of dating has remained the same for the last few generations, the scene itself has changed quite considerably.
There is now a ton of online services, apps, websites and blogs making it easier than ever before to meet new and interesting people, no matter what you are looking for.
This, of course, takes away the essence of randomly bumping into someone in the library (which can still happen) and having to ask for their phone number. However, this does mean that you can search for the sort of person you’re looking for to find that special someone who’s the perfect fit.
While this new innovation may not be to everyone’s taste, it’s certainly a viable, and very successful, option that you might want to try. After all, the chances that you bump into the love of your life randomly are very slim, so why not help yourself maximize your opportunities.
For example, you might like to try new online dating services, such as eHarmony or Match.com.
If you’re looking for an app, Tinder is easily one of the most popular, but there are plenty of others such as Plenty of Fish or Zoosk.
While many of these services offer paid subscription plans for more ‘tokens’ or features to be unlocked, most of them are free to sign up and use, so there’s no reason why you can’t try them all to see which one you like using!
You Have Definitely Changed
While the dating scene has evolved in many different ways, it’s essential to remember that you have changed far more than the scene itself. Consider all the things you’ve been up to over the last few years, or since you last went on a date.
You may have found financial security, bought a house or a car. The type of clothes you wear will have definitely changed. You may have fought your way up the career ladder, run a company and then retired. You may still be working.
With all that past behind you, it’s important to remember that the best years of your life can still lay ahead of you.
There’s no telling who you might meet around the corner, the next event you go to, or even the next time you go into town. Whoever it is, he/she could change your life entirely.
Before heading out into the dating scene, take the time to realize and to come to terms with who you are, what you’ve accomplished and what you want to achieve in the future. Once you understand the person you are, you’ll be ready to find your other half.
The Taboo Subject You Came Here For
Okay, so no article on dating is going to be complete without talking about S-E-X, perhaps one of the most taboo subjects when it comes to senior dating.
This doesn’t have to be the case!
After all, remember that sex is a natural part of life, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. In most cases, it’s probably more important now than it was during your teenage years!
Think how much more confident you are in your body and how much more experience you have, especially when you think back to your first time during your younger years!
Now, we’re not saying that you should jump straight into your first date by talking about sex, but just remember that it’s a natural subject which doesn’t have to be embarrassing or awkward.
Just wait until you feel comfortable talking about the topic, you sense they do too and just bring it up confidently. Remember that there’s nothing to be afraid of as long as you’re respectful and read the situation. Don’t forget about the ton of information online if you have any questions!
Sonder: The Realization That Everybody Has a Story
When you’re sitting across the table at a restaurant on a date, or chat to someone online, one essential thing to remember is Sonder: the realization that everybody has their own stories.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re 50, 60, 70, 80 or above, the person you’re talking to has lived a life just as vivid, complex, difficult and enlightening as yours.
You’ve both lived through the very best times of your life, and the very worst, and now you’re sitting and connecting. How beautiful is that?
After all, everyone’s past has made them who they are today. This can be interrupted in a lot of different ways. For example, knowing that this person has lived a crazy life, just like you have, means that you have so much to talk about and explore through conversation; there’s no reason to feel shy or timid.
On the other hand, you’ll want to make sure that you’re respectful and thoughtful with the things you say.
While some people may find offensive jokes about certain subjects funny, others may not, so if you feel the need to say something that could be deemed controversial, make sure that you’re not going to hurt anyone.
The Key to Success is Patience
Do you remember what it was like back in the day when you were trying to date?
Feelings of excitement, dread, awkwardness, pushing your limits and punching above your weight?
Remember trying to ask that special someone out with you, or perhaps never building the courage and regret it even now?
As a person, you’ve come a hell of a long way since then and one of the most important traits you should have learned during this time is patience. Good things come to those who wait, as the saying goes.
Of course, not every single date you go on is going to end perfectly.
Unless you’re really lucky, you’re not going to find that special someone on the first one. It may take two or three, or even 20 attempts before you find someone. Just because something doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean you should give up and stop trying.
Instead, stick with it, practice, get better and more confident in yourself and, of course, don’t forget to…
Have a Good Time
Dating has always been about having fun.
After all, you don’t normally see couples on a date who are sitting without smiles on their faces. This is by far the most important item on this list as dating and finding somebody else is all about being happy and smiling and having a good time.
Whether you’re asking someone out, going out somewhere to eat or enjoy a beautiful day together, make sure that you’re doing it because it’s something that you want to do. If someone suggests something that you don’t like the idea of, then don’t be afraid to be yourself and say no.
It’s always fun to try new things, so don’t forget to bear that in mind. At the end of the day, if you’re not having fun with the dates that you’re going on, now is probably not the right time for you to be going on them, which is totally okay. There’s no reason why you ever need to rush into anything.
The most important thing you need to be thinking about is whether you’re happy.
While you may not be a believer in fate or destiny, if you’re looking after yourself, the chances that something beautiful will happen has been proven time and time again.
Places to Go for a Date
Now, one of the biggest questions that are asked on senior dating is where are you are actually supposed to go for a date?
After all, you can’t just go to the pictures, can you?
The first thing you’ll want to be aware of is transport. If you drive yourself or have a family member or friend who is happy to drive you, then you’ll be fine to go anywhere. Likewise, you can always take a taxi or an Uber.
On the other hand, if you don’t have a car and rely on public transport, you’re going to need to do some research to see what options you have available to you. Thankfully, you can easily search bus and train times, as well as all the travel information you need on your smartphone or computer. If you own a self-help device, such as an Amazon Alexa, you can simply voice search what you want to know!
If you’re still looking for dating ideas, here are a few to get you started;
- The local park
- The beach
- Take a cooking class together
- Go to a fair or festival
- Take a wine tasting course
- Take an art class
- Walk your dog
- See a live music event
- Visit a museum
The list is practically endless. Of course, this is all going to depend on what you enjoy and what the person you are dating enjoys, but even throwing out a few ideas from the above list is sure to get those creative juices flowing.
Isabella works in senior care and loves doing so. With over 10 years of experience in the field she is a reliable source for everything around day care and the senior lifestyle in general. In her free time she enjoys playing volleyball and artistic painting.